I have allowed negative self-talk to take away so much joy in my life. By changing the way I talk to myself, I have been able to overcome a myriad of issues, several big ones being a low self-esteem, a judgmental mind, low self-worth, perfection, etc. The mind is a very powerful resource that we humans forget to tap into and forget that we control it. Successful people are successful because they TOLD themselves they would be successful over and over again. Yes, they faced adversity and trials and even failed one or 100 times. But they kept telling themselves the opposite of what they experienced, they told themselves that they would succeed. What makes one person over another do so much better than someone else? They believed in themselves and their dreams and TOLD themselves they could make it.
I highly recommend reading Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind. It is a great place to start on your road to conquering negativity and controlling what your mind focuses on. It is Christian based, but even if you don’t believe in Christianity, it is a great resource and perspective on our role and responsibility in controlling our happiness and success in life through our mind.
But even if you don’t read books on this topic, we can still learn to tell ourselves how wonderful we are and to accept the mistakes in our lives. We can do this by being intentional. Here are a few tricks I have used to change my thinking and in doing so, I have increased my happiness and joy in everyday life.
- Be GRATEFUL
Now turn that negative little voice off for a second. That little voice that’s saying right now, “I don’t have anything to be grateful for. I’m not thankful for anything. I don’t have enough money. I’m fat. My family sucks. I spend all my money on wine. My husband was rude to me this morning and didn’t tell me that he loved me.” Blah Blah Blah. You have to just stop it. Make your mind blank for one second….Now, look outside. Keep your mind off. No thoughts except, I am so thankful for the _____ outside. Insert wind, cold, the sun, flowers, snow, etc. Then be thankful for the very simple things: you’re breathing, you have a computer to read this, a pet sleeping next to you. Out of these 5 tips, if you can just be grateful for a few things each morning, that positivity will have a huge impact on your day. Starting your day out right is so important. While lying in bed with that alarm clock going off, just be thankful you have something that required you to set an alarm, a responsibility that makes your day meaningful. I have started the practice of setting my iPhone with a message when my alarm goes off, such as; today is going to be amazing! So that this is the first thing I read when I wake up in the morning.
- Say it OUT LOUD
Say what you want OUT LOUD. If you look at yourself in the mirror and you think “I’m ugly”…say out loud, “I’m beautiful”. It is so important to let yourself hear what you are thinking. It changes your mind and believes what you hear. God gave us senses for a reason. When you hear someone say something, you have a reaction and it goes to your soul. So you can have an influence on yourself, by saying positive things to yourself out loud. I wouldn’t suggest doing this in the middle of the grocery store as you see your reflection in the ice cream isle. But you can do it in front of someone you trust. But most of all say it to yourself in the car, in the bathroom, in the elevator if you’re alone. Talk to yourself. Talk positively about yourself to yourself. And make sure you HEAR yourself.
- VISUALIZATION
If I am working on a specific area in my life, such as feeling unsure about writing this blog, I put an encouraging quote as the locked screen on my phone. Again, this is using a sense, your vision, to change the way your mind thinks. By engaging your thoughts towards positivity through visualization, you are subconsciously overruling the negativity your mind is prone to. When I was tired of my roller coaster ride of amazing highs followed by amazing lows with my relationship with my husband, I wrote down a list of all the ways I was going to stabilize myself, took a picture of it and made it my home screen on my phone and reread what I wrote in my journey every day for a month. I intentionally stabilized myself by visually reminding myself what I was working on and the steps I was taking to change this particular area of my life.
- FOCUS on one thing at a time
It is important to work on one thing at a time. It can get discouraging and overwhelming when you are working on yourself and you see all the things you want to change. I become overwhelmed thinking how I want to change. So I start with the area I wanted to change the most. I have said before that I would roller coaster my way through life with emotions that swung from amazing highs to amazing lows. The lows lasting for days, like a depression of sorts. So I needed to stabilize myself. With visualization and the other keys on this list, I only worked on this one thing for months. I stayed vigilant for the signs and symptoms of my emotional instability and intentionally controlled my emotions through visualization and using my mouth to say what I wanted to believe.
- COMPARE YOURSELF
You’re thinking…WHAT? Yes, compare yourself only to the person you were yesterday. That is the only person you should ever compare yourself too. Tawny has written some terrific blogs on comparison. But this comparison is to encourage you to see yourself change. To help you look at yesterday and see what a better person you have become today or what a difference you will make tomorrow. By comparing the old you to the new you, you can feel good as to how far you have come. We humans will NEVER be perfect. We will never have a perfect day and sometimes our yesterdays will be better than our todays. But it is our progress that we should be enamored with. We should be excited to see ourselves grow and become amazing people. And we can start today!! At any age!!
I truly hope these 5 tips help you overcome hang-ups in your life and achieve the person you want to become. Overcoming personal issues are a life-long journey. I use these tips almost every day on some area of my life. This doesn’t mean I don’t have a bad day, but I sure have a lot more good than bad.
Now, get out there and live intentionally!
Awesome 😎 very encouraging 👍🏻😎